Welcome to Ken Kookynutty’s Cavalcade of Big Government Censorship

When the Republitards scream about how they’re against Big Government, don’t believe ’em.

They’re lying.

They want you to believe Big Government means expensive government — programs that spend money for the benefit of the people.

Well, obviously, they’re against that.  They don’t turn the other cheek, they don’t lend a helping hand, and those Cadillacs in the welfare recipients’ driveways?  They want to take them back.  Maybe they should be called Repo-blicans.

The hush-hush secret about Big Government — and because Government is always big, no matter what,  let’s call this exactly what it is: Republican Government — is that they want Their Government to make decisions for us.  Such as, deciding for us things we can and cannot be allowed to see.

Like a woman’s boob.

And it isn’t even a real woman.  It’s a piece of freakin’ art.  A coupla thousand years of artistic heritage . . . and Virginia’s Morals-Endowed-by-God-and-Pat-Robertson Attorney General, Ken Cuccinelli, thinks our state seal is as nasty as Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction.

There is the offending tit.  Right there.  The one with the nipple.  Right next to the big thing she’s holding that looks like a . . .

It’s a sword.  Suspiciously blunt and slightly flesh-colored, yet still a sword.

That’s the goddess Victus — but you can call her Miss Jackson if you’re nasty.  Here’s a news story all about this joker we elected into office.  Basically, Cuccinelli ordered the seal to be revised so he could make official pins for his AG office and give them out.

Revised by covering up said tit with “armor.”

Republitards make a big deal about heritage and tradition.  The first seal of Virginia was designed by George Wythe, with input from Thomas Jefferson (forgive me if my history is a little off), and reflected both our spirit of American Revolution and a belief in the Greco-Roman classics — the literature that would lead Virginia and the new nation into an age of intellectual enlightenment.

Intellectual?  No wonder Cuccinelli ordered it covered up.   Intellectual is the same as Democrat.  Progressive.


As is being noted in articles across the Web, Cuccinelli is a joke.  He deserves the ridicule he will receive — as his White House censorial predecessor, King John Ashcroft, received when he tried to cover up the classical nude statues of Justice.

As far as I’m concerned, flaunt ’em if you got ’em; bare ’em if they’re big.  I vote this babe to be on our next state seal.

She can even hold my sword . . .

Banned in Alabama

There is much I could say about The Virginia Alcoholic Beverage Control Board and their archaic and occasionally tyrannical rules on alcohol advertising and the art of labeling. Let’s not even get into the fact that they are now allowed to open the stores on Sundays. But . . . where are the open stores on Sundays?

But that’s another discussion. Let’s instead talk about the enlightened Brainiacs in the ABC offices of the great state and sweet home of Alabama.

Seems they don’t like this wine label:

And so they’ve banned the wine from being sold in the state — despite the history of art and freedom the original poster embodies:

About Cycles Gladiator

Americans then might have been shocked by the thought of a woman wearing pantaloons or bloomers pedaling a bicycle, but the French understood what sold products—thus the ‘uninhibited’ appearance of the Cycles Gladiator advertising poster.

Cycles Gladiator symbolizes a celebration of the freedom and happiness that pervaded Europe in the late 19th century—an era known as the Belle Epoque. This era marked many notable inventions and improvements to daily life, not the least of which was the modern bicycle or Le Bicycle Velocipede.

Started in Paris in 1891 by Alexandre Darracq (an eccentric, who would later become famous for manufacturing automobiles), Gladiator was one of the dozens of bicycle companies that saturated the market when the cycling craze boomed. The Golden Age of cycling reached its pinnacle in 1895—and that same year printer G. Massias unveiled one of the great Parisian advertising posters. Only four of these original posters exist today.

The famed artwork that once showcased the stylish Cycles Gladiator now graces the bottles of our classic wines from California’s Central Coast. The mythological image of the nymph riding her winged bicycle captures the grace and uninhibited beauty of our hillside vineyards. From the winery’s website

Have the ABC boards even read the First Amendment?

114 years later, it seems that some people in some states simply need to evolve. Or has evolution been banned in Alabama, too?

Book-Burners, Bureaucrats and other Bloodsuckers

I am not tolerant of censors and their arrogant holier-than-thou attitude, usually rooted in their wingnut religious beliefs, that they — based on their very own personal knowledge of God’s wisdom, granted to them while alone communing with bears and aliens in the woods — know what’s best for us . . . even better than we do, ourselves.

So it is with joy in my heart that I bring you this story of would-be book-burners in West Bend, Wisconsin, and their foiled attempt to have this fantasy novel —

— removed from the shelves. (Make sure you read all the comments — hilarious!) Oh, that’s not stopping them from suing the city; but I have a feeling the members of the almighty Christian Civil Liberties Union will soon find that they are the chief conductors of the loser train. Thank you to the writers and protectors of the First Amendment. Here’s a more detailed story to go along with the first.

Over in Pennsylvania, we have another library story — this one about an anonymous bureaucrat who decided a seven-year old patron and uber-reader had to have his library card revoked simply because he lived across the town’s border. Giving him the card was a mistake made by the library initially, and although they could have left well enough alone, they revoked the kid’s card — thereby making a much bigger PR mistake. Here’s the story. For what it’s worth, I’d like to send the kid a $50 gift card to Barnes and Noble.

And for a third round of stories about bloodsuckers, here’s a cool piece from Salon about Buffy the Vampire Slayer and three series on bookshelves that owe a lot to Joss Whedon. And to The Joy of Sex.